Chapter 2: June 18th 2008 
The Beginning


I hated my shrinks office. It was cold, cramped, and it smelled like spoiled grape juice, (if that had a smell, I wouldnt know). The big bay window looking out onto the garden was in serious need of windex ,and the couch i was sitting on had sagged in the middle. It had sagged so much, I was afraid I would get stuck in between the tan and dark brown checkered coushins. 
My srinks name was Rick Verbinski. He was a middle aged guy who still lived with his mom, but in the "garage apartment" as he repeatedly pointed out. I get to call him Rick instead of Dr. Verbinski because I've been seening him once a week for eight years. Its been eight years since my dad died.
"I want you to tell me the story again, Charlotte," he said this as if he were reading from a script.
Being on a first name basis with a guy I discuss my feelings with, gives me a litle leverage on what I get to tell him.
"Ok first of all for the umpteenth time RICK my name is Charlie, NOT Charlotte" he could tell I was annoyed and he knew I would tell him the story again but not before getting my point across, "and second I still dont understand why I have to keep telling you my story when you already know it!"
Rick sighed knowing full well it would take me a two seconds to start rambling on, but I held on as long as I could.
"Ugh, Fine!"
He smiled and waited for me to begin.
"OKay ever since I could remember my mind has this off switch. I would blackout from time to time only to wake up and not remember anything that had happened in the previous hour or so. And when I did wake up the house wouldnt look the same as when i had blacked out. All the pillows would be strewn on the floor and the pictures on the wall would be tilted. The kitchen drawers would be emptied out and I would have drawn a picture that didnt make any sense. When I started to getting older, I would be able to predict, some what, when my blackouts would happen. If it felt like one was starting I would have my mom put me in my room and I would come out when I was done. For some reason when I blacked out I would become this hyperactive person that could not be tamed. I would destroy everything and have this raged look in my eye according to my mom. 
One day my older brother James walked in on me while I was having an "episode" as my mom would later start calling them. Well James, not knowing how susceptible at the time I was to suggestion, told me to go feed Thor, our dog. My concisous mind knew that this was James' responsibility but my mind at the time did it without hesitation. I was a stickler for the roles of responsibility we had in our house and when I willingly did James' work, was when my mom got even more scared then she was before. I dont think she ever wanted to get me tested because she was worried about what they'd find. But after that she took me to get an MRI and the doctors said there was nothing abmormal in my brain scan. Not knowing why these kept happening was the worst part. My dad never really liked to get involved in my episodes, they were difficult to watch I guess and he couldnt take it. He was a firefighter and he would usually go to the station when my episode began. One night I heard him get out of bed and tell my mom to come downstairs with him. I guess it was my drowsiness that made me believe i was having an episode because i was so used to seeing him leave when they started, but i wanted to see him go. So i crept out of my room and i sat at the top of the stairs that looked down on the front door." I could feel tears welling in my eyes.
"That was the night of the Pier 12 Warehouse fire, that was the night that my dad didnt come home from work. and the last thing i heard him say was...." I stopped. "Rick you know i cant say it, it will set it off."
"I'm well aware of that phrase, please continue Charlie."
I smiled a little when he said the name I liked and I continued, "When my mom got the call that the roof of the warehouse had collapsed and my dad didnt get out, I flashed back to his last words. Thats was the first time in 3 years I didnt see my blackout coming. I hit the floor and started yelling the phrase over and over again. My mom rushed to my side and held my hand. That was when I found my trigger."
"Trigger?" I rolled my eyes when he asked this as if he didnt already know the answer.
I sighed, "Yes my trigger, from that day foward the only time I would have an episode was when I heard that phrase."
The last thing i remembered in that session was me telling Rick about my trigger. I still cant believe he said it.
"Oh you mean the phrase "I ......." "

The room went black. 

End of chapter 2
  



BIG SHOUT OUT TO COURT FOR GIVING ME THE "PHRASE" IDEA SHES THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS IT, FOR NOW =]